I really should update this more often. I really dont like blogging on my myspace that much cuz its too risky with our situation. That being that I cant freely write about April and I because we both have friends from work that are our friends on myspace and no one knows about us cuz that means serious trouble. Not to mention that the whole world including my friends dont need to know every detail of my life. I share plenty but there are some things I still need to keep private. Not to mention sometimes writing my true feelings can get me into trouble. I'm not always nice.
Ohhh the phones just went dead! Woo hoo!
So, interesting developments since the last post. We infact finally did admit our love for eachother. She actually said it first. I was quite shocked. Speechless actually. Here's the story.
It was the night of the art show at Dedo. We went to dinner then to the art show. I made a special playlist for that night so that I wouldnt neglect her while having to dj. She said thats a big reason she doesnt go to dedo, because I have to be working and not paying attention to her. So I made this 4 hour long playlist with everything one would need for a kickass dance party. It worked pretty well. We were able to get drunk and fondle most of the evening. It was quite fun. We went to whataburger afterwards and we were waiting in the drive-thru line. She put this song called "These Words" by Natasha Beddingfield on cuz she likes it alot. She was singing along and somewhere towards the end of the song she sings "I love you and thats ok..."well the song ended and April kept saying it, but she wasnt saying it to the song any more. She was saying it to me. I looked at her then away from her kind of confused. In my head the voice started yelling "hello idiot! tell her you love her too!!!" so I turned and said "you know I love you too right?" and she was like "yeah I do." And from there my heart didnt stop smiling.
Valentines day was 5 days later and we spent the whole day together. We went to lunch at the Japanese Kitchen then we went shopping, or rather she went shopping . It was fun and frightening to watch her drop so much money on clothes. But it made her happy so it was all good. If I had that kind of money that day I would have gone to Guitar Center and made myself happy there. Later on we went to dinner. That was an ordeal all its own. While she got ready to go out I practiced playing "The Get A Way" That was my gift to her. I was supposed to play it for her for Xmas but I chickened out on account that I had fallen behind on practicing and she makes me nervous. We both wanted to go to Ardovinos for dinner so I called them to make a reservation. Turned out they were going to have some special 5 course menu that night and it was $80 a person. We were like "um...no" So we had to think of places to go. We drove around for a while and ended up at Dominics on my aunts suggestion. They only had room for us up at the bar area. We were both starving and starting to snip at eachother so we settled for it. Man that food sucked! It was toooooooooooooooooooo garlicky. Garlic dosent even taste that garlicky. We decided that valentines day was a bust, except for the fact that we got to spend it together, and that we'd redo it on her birthday. That way commercialism dosent get in the way. We went home. I played "The Get A Way" for her and then did what people do on valentines day when they're feeling romantic. Sex people!
I spent that weekend with her and Santiago. We went shopping for clothes and furniture. We put an entertainment center together. It nearly fell apart when we finished because the intructions didnt metnion anything about the bottom needing screws to be screwed in. It was very Lucy and Ethel of us. We had a good laugh.
Things get a little fuzzy from here. Mainly because April got a really bad cold and ear infection that caused her eardrum to rupture and go deaf for a couple of weeks. She became pretty depressed for awhile. I dont think she knew she was depressed. I did. She had all the symptoms I just didnt want to tell her because she was always in a bad mood and I didnt want to make it worse. I was kind of getting tired of her constantly questioning my intentions of moving out of my moms house. I really started to get annoyed with her after a while. But I turned it into a positive thing and decided that the reason she was bugging me about it is because she sees how unhappy I am at home and wants me to get myself out of that situation. She showed alot of love and support when I got really depressed about feeling like a total failure a few months ago. I decided that I was a big let down to my mom and family. Shortly after Les and I started Sounds of the Damned. We're really gonna try to do this all the way. As far as we can take it. I'm really excited and scared about it. I dont want to fail at it. Music has always been my savation and if I fail at it then I have no reason to live. Ok thats a bit dramatic but seriously, what do I do from there?
Anyhoo, the whole April depression thing started to affect our relationship and i was constantly worrying that the end was nigh. Ask my hairdresser, she'll tell you. This lasted for about 2 months. Finally she started to snap out of it. We went out for drinks one Wednesday night in early May. My cousin and the gang ended up joining us. It was nice. We had a good time and she was her old self again. Then 3 days later she got into a car accident. Her friend Lily was supposed to come into town and she invited me to go have some drinks with her. That day she texted me that she wasnt coming after all and asked me if I still wanted to go out. I told her yes. So we made plans to go out later that night. So I talked to her when I got out of work and she was at a family party and she told me she'd call me when she was leaving so we could go out. I waited for a long time and finally got tired of waiting around so I took off driving. I was either gonna meet Adam at his house or I dont know what. She called as I was driving down my street and I asked her what the plan was. She sort of stalled and started giving ambiguous answers. Finally she just told me she'd rather I didnt go. She said that it wasnt because she had bad intentions, she just didnt feel comfortable. She asked me if I was mad, and I told her that there was no point in me getting mad because it wasnt gonna do anyhting but I was really annoyed because I really wanted to be with her. So she told me that she'd go meet Lily for a drink and then meet up with me at the Tool afterwards. So I went and met the guys at the tool and a while after I got there she called and told me that she was at the hospital because she had a car accident. I went into panic/rescue mode and was like "I'll be there right now" and she told me not to go. I was saddened and confused by her request and as hard as it was to honor her wishes I did. She'd told me she'd call me back when they were going to let her go so that I could take her home because her car was totalled. So I waited...and she finally called and asked me to go pick her up. I got to the hospital and made a mad dash to her...
Oh works over...more later!
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